the price to play the game (octajo) wrote,
the price to play the game

the sweetness will not be concerned with me

I hate being sick. I felt so depressed today for like no reason. Lately I've been feeling like I'm waiting for something to happen, but I don't know what. I just really really dont know what i want.

We had the pep rally today and I got so annoyed because a bunch of guys were yelling out mean stuff so I got up and I sat with ryan quinn and we talked about random stuff and ignored everything. that was fun. and i got to talk to dan for a few minutes after.

I kinda want to go to Homecoming cuz it would be like old times... not that id want to go back but for 1 night sure why not. But I probably wont because i have a lot more reason not too since I dont get out of work til 8, im in a really bad mood, and i dont know if any of my friends are going.

sigh. its like heather said i wish i could just take out my brain for a while and clean it before i put it back. I am just so confused to the point where i seriously dont even know what im confused about.
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the difference is we don't make the people we call our friends feel the same way.
Oh yeah cuz i really force my friends to be sad. And whenever they tell me about something good that happened to them, I'm like that's nice I don't care. Oh right and of course no one else but me is EVER selfish.
ok. im not even sure why im writing this because you're going to take this the wrong way and think im just a bitch. but you do act like that, at franks christmas party. we all tried to talk to you. joe spent like 10 mins trying to get you to talk to us and everything and you replied in mono-syllables and were sitting there, possibly crying or saying. "heather im bored, i wanna go home"
so maybe you dont FORCE them to be sad, but you sure as hell dont let them have a good time without going a far far far way outta their way to make you feel included.
I'm not really offended cuz u put your name on it and actually explained what you were talking about. But that doesn't mean that i do things like that all the time. And I appreciated that you guys were doing all you could for me. That was almost a year ago and I've done that once or twice since then.
thats not the way i hear it